Misconception

Beauty and the Mind

"Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been." -Mark Twain.

Although a beautiful truth, this quote is a vision not easily embraced by our society today. Wrinkles and fat are seen as adorable on a newborn baby or even a shar-pei puppy. However,  the mind begins to interpret things differently as we grow and the signs of aging become evident. It is no longer "cute" to have visible lines and wrinkles on our forehead, and excess fat on our legs, for example. Our perceptions of what is "beautiful" changes drastically in our minds because the world has taught us and defined beauty for us instead of allowing us to define it for ourselves.

Loving thoughts about the body are rare in a society of men and women with a distorted, negative self-image. It is no longer about the health of our bodies, but rather extreme expectations we have brought upon ourselves as to what we "should" look like and what beauty has come to be in our minds.

I do believe a healthy mind and body go hand in hand. However, when taken to an extreme can be toxic. Body image obsessions often lead to anorexia and bulimia. Both devastating on not only the body, but the mind as well. What we need is to shift our perceptions.

"Perception is a mirror not a fact. And what I look on is my state of mind, reflected outward."   -A Course In Miracles. 

For as long as I can remember I have struggled with body image. Trying to live up to what I created in my mind and what I thought I needed to be or had to look like. An endless battle for what I believed was perfection, but what is perfect in reality? Why have I fought so hard to change what God created and deemed perfect to begin with. Awakening the inner voice and thoughts in my head is what I believe to be the path to lasting peace, love, and acceptance of who I am and what my purpose here is. Everything happens for a reason. I think maybe the reason I've gone through such trials is so that I am able to help others and through that see the true beauty in myself and be ok with the reflection I see in the mirror each day.

How I Look Is Not Who I Am

At what point in life did "how-I-look" become more important than "who-I-am?" When did spending hours in front of the mirror and botox become more natural than playing on the playground at recess, kicking a soccer ball, or dancing in the rain? At what point did we learn and feel the need to control, manipulate, and constantly and needlessly obsess over our bodies rather than see ourselves as we are? These are questions I often ask myself.

Self-degrading thoughts about what we perceive as "flaws" are created completely out of a false reality. Negative perceptions take a hold of the mind and ego does everything it can to prevent us from seeing the truth about ourselves. Seeing ourselves as beautiful, holy, and worthy of love is far from our thought system. Like anything in life, if repeated enough will become learned and habituated only to perpetuate a losing battle of self destruction. It is only when we begin to let go of the need to control that our thoughts may begin to shift.  

Author, Marianne Williamson says, "The world has taught us to take control of our lives. We've been taught that that's our power. We think we're powerful because of what we've achieved rather than what we are. We've created a fight mentality. We're always fighting for something. For me, it was to lose weight, to have the perfect body, perfect hair, better skin. We go to every length possible to prevent the aging process. We never put our swords away."

So how do we make a change? Change takes spiritual discipline. Changing our lives is difficult. We have taught ourselves a way of thinking and run instinctively into the direction of fear, paranoia, and attack. In order to begin to see things differently we must first change our minds and our behaviors will follow. Marianne Williamson said, "a scream responds best to love." The message to ourselves needs then to be one of "love me" not "hate me." To begin to awaken to who we are and the love that is inside of us. 

Beauty Abides in the Soul

Through personal experience and much self reflection,  I have found that looking to anything external to "cure" any "disorder" will never gather results. Our thoughts are merely images we have created. Only a shift in the mind and a determination to see things differently will guarantee peace within. Beauty is found in our soul and although our egos try to steer us to believe that appearance is important, nothing of the sort is actually true. Love, light, happiness and complete peace abide within us and although we may be blind to it at this very moment, it is ever present inside each of us and always will be.

This quote from A Course in Miracles spoke to me today. It gives me hope and I wish the same for anyone else who may be suffering at this moment. "Deep within you is everything that is perfect, ready to radiate through you and out into the world. It will cure all sorrow and pain and loss because it will heal the mind that thought these things were real, and suffered out of its allegiance to them.  We all carry the "cure" for our disease deep within us."

Dermatillomania and BDD

Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) is a somatoform disorder characterized by a distorted or delusional perception of one's body or particular body parts. People with BDD are normal looking and often exceptionally good looking, however they perceive themselves as extremely unattractive, sometimes to the extent of social isolation and even suicide at an exceptionally high rate.

Approximately 73% of those suffering from BDD are concerned specifically with their skin. Compulsive mirror checking, compulsive skin-touching, and social withdrawal are all symptoms associated with skin specific body dysmorphia, better known as dermatillomania.

Dermatillomania is the most common form of BDD. The word itself has a lineage dating back to ancient Greece. When broken down into smaller words, an appropriate picture of the disorder is better revealed.
Dermatillomania is a disorder involving the skin, thus the "derma" portion of the word. Derma=skin (from Greek). The word "Till" which means to pull (Greek) signifies the destructive act of picking at the skin. Lastly, the word "Mania" meaning madness, describes the uncontrollable nature of the disorder.

None of the skin on the body is off limits to a patient with this disorder. Most people pick at the skin that is easiest to reach, such as the skin on the hands, arms, neck, face and scalp.

Doctors, particularly those specializing in mental health issues and dermatology acknowledge that this compulsion for picking at the skin on the face, and anywhere else on the body, is an issue that is dangerous in and of itself but is also a sign of deeper emotional turmoil that will most likely require in-depth behavioral therapy.